My take on anniversaries is they are opportunities to celebrate and reflect on significant milestones, journies wins, losses, and maybe even hard lessons learned. Whether the anniversary is related to a wedding, divorce, weight loss, a loss of a loved one, a new job, or something else, moving forward requires intentionality and a lengthy process.

I recently celebrated my six-year loc journey. Whooop! My trek was less about hair and more about self-discovery and acceptance.

I grew up in Atlantic County, NJ, which is known as the Jersey Shore. In the ’70s, the population was 175,000, and black families were indeed the minority. Pigtails, barrettes, and marble-like hair accessories were the norm. By high school (1979), many of the black girls proudly conformed to straight hair. Although my mom and her four sisters proudly wore their fros, the meaning behind their pride didn’t translate to my affection. My lack of knowledge of the Natural Hair Movement in the ’60s and ’70s may have contributed to my lack of enthusiasm; mom chose my hair and clothing style.

I saw afros but never locs. Maybe somebody adorned locs, but other than seeing images on records of the likes of Bob Marley, I do not remember seeing anyone in person until years after high school when I was introduced to Charlotte. At the time, she was probably in her mid-’50s and early ‘30s.

Dark brown speckled with gray, thin, and waist-length, her locs were gorgeous! I was intrigued and inspired. I wanted to touch them and run my fingers through her hair but was too afraid to ask permission. I think that’s when I decided that one day, I would grow locs. I set an imaginary deadline (goal) of age 40 and forgot all about my plan.

In 2010, I met this sista (I forget her name) with the most beautiful locs I had ever seen. I remember eagerly approaching her to ask about her stylist. Since I was not seeing anyone with locs, I assumed that no one in the Atlantic County area was starting or performing loc maintenance, and I was wrong. She told me about KinHairitage.

Five years later, Victoria Shelton at KinHairitage started me on my loc journey. Although I was nervous about my look, having been a customer of the salon and Vicky’s sister, Rashida, I knew that I was in good hands. Vicky carefully instructed me on how to care for my locs, recommended products to use, and products to avoid.

At work, I received many compliments and a few looks of uncertainty, but I felt good about my decision to start my loc journey.

I wasn’t prepared for the frizziness, which was probably worst than most because I work out daily and sweat heavily. In the beginning, I took my time to put on makeup. Using eye-shadow and pretty lipstick. I felt better and thought I was compensating for my messy hair.

Eventually, I caved in and brought wigs to get me through the messy (some call the ugly) stage. I feared people talking about my hair being unkempt behind my back. I have always taken pride in having a unique style and celebrated the raised eyebrows and side-eyed about an outfit. Lol! But this was different. I was outside of my comfort zone and never felt so vulnerable.

When you find yourself outside of your comfort zone, that has the potential of a positive outcome, but the urge to turn around hits you, dig deep! Seek support from family and friends who support and encourage you, and above all, meditate and ask God to help see you through.

Uncomfortable moments typically surface when you work toward accomplishing a positive goal. I believe the discomfort is a sort of test that asks, Do you really want this? Well, how bad do you want it? What are you willing to sacrifice?

During my professional career, I have made dramatic career changes in several industries. Honey Chile!! I have had to push through the most insecure and uncomfortable moments, and I continue to do so today. The rewards are plentiful.

Anyways, back to my loc journey. In addition to regular maintenance with my Loctician, I also learned to talk to other loc wearing women. They have cheerfully given me many tips and pointers on better embracing the journey and advice for maintenance at home.

It did not take long for my locs to bud, and that’s when my hair grew longer, I gained enough confidence, and Vicky added color, which I loved!

As I gained length, I learned new techniques to change my looks. Online resources and inspiration are endless. I discovered loc jewelry and bought some dope pieces from Tiffany Loc Jewel’s. I am still a fan! The jewels gave me a sense of individuality, and mom thought I looked ghetto. 😂 My students at the high school loved the look, and many became inspired to loc their hair.

My son has also served as an inspiration for me. He’s pictured below. I never thought I would be a source of inspiration for other women (or men) to loc their hair. You see, that is another point. While you struggle through your journey (at whatever), unbeknownst to you, someone is watching you. They seek strength and inspiration from your passage. Often, you are unaware. Do not give up!

Although Georgia is a source for a plethora of natural hair stylists, I used to the attentive care of Vicky. So for the first time, I explored the idea of doing my own hair. I watched Vicky’s YouTube videos and others online and gave it a chance. I washed and did my loc maintenance. The beauty in wearing natural hair is that all the nuances of straight hair being in place all the time goes out the window. It’s just nonsense.

I miss Vicky because she does not double-book appointments. When she does my hair, I am her only client. We have mutual respect and value each other’s time.

Three weeks ago, I flew to San Antonio, Texas; I was Matron of Honor for my bestie’s wedding, and I wanted my hair styled nicely. Since Kinhairtage moved to Houston, Texas, I prioritized scheduling time for much-needed loc maintenance with Vicky. My hair is long, and it needed her special touch. She did a fantastic job on my hair, and I especially love the sparkles she added to my locs and cannot wait for her to add more.

Today I continue to educate myself on the best way to maintain my locs. From podcasts to forums on Clubhouse, the Gram, TickTock, and more, the resources to educate yourself are endless. I have learned about the damaging effects of coloring my hair and some dope hairstyles to try. I no longer care about what others think of my hair, and I prefer to wear my locs when they are frizzy and revealing more of my parts. It is liberating.

Because of my loc journey, I am more confident, happy as ever to be natural, and I hope to encourage and inspire others to join the club.

Whatever your journey, consider Angela Bassett's words of wisdom, "Don't settle for average. Bring your best to the moment. Then, whether it fails or succeeds, at least you know you gave all you had. We need to live the best that's in us."

Recent photo from a wedding in SJ. See the sparkles? 😍

Be well, my friends!

Namaste!

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